Child arrangements - separating LGBTQ+ families

Reaching an agreement relating to children can become difficult in any situation involving the breakdown of a relationship between parents, but there can be extra hurdles for LGBTQ+ families.

Here, Laura Pidduck, an Associate Legal Executive and one of our children and matrimonial breakdown experts, explains the issues you may encounter.

Contact arrangements
Most disputes arise when parents are unable to agree where a child should live or when they should spend time with each parent. Ideally, parents are expected to work together to agree arrangements in a child’s best interests, however there are of course times when some additional help is required. 

Mediation may be an appropriate first step depending upon your individual circumstances. This can be a useful tool to help you reach an agreement or at least narrow the issues.

If an agreement cannot be reached, then either parent can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order that sets out where a child is to live and when they spend time with each parent.

For LGBTQ+ families there can also be additional hurdles that need to be overcome. For example, if a parent’s sexual orientation or gender identity has been used as a reason to withdraw contact or if a child wishes to explore their own identity and the parents are unable to agree how to deal with it.   

Parenthood and parental responsibility
In some cases, the very issue of who is even considered a parent can be in dispute.

For example, if a child is conceived with the assistance of a surrogate, artificial insemination or fertility treatment, there may be some confusion as to who the legal parents of the child actually are.  It is crucial to establish this from an early stage for both emotional and practical reasons.  Parenthood will affect whether you are financial liable for your child (including paying child maintenance) and whether your child will inherit from you in the event of your death. It also impacts your right to make an application to the court for an order relating to your child.

The rules around legal parenthood can be quite complex. Generally speaking, a child’s mother would be defined as the person who has actually carried the child and in some cases this will mean that a person’s role as the mother may not match their chosen or acquired gender. The rules around who is considered the second legal parent will vary depending upon a number of factors including whether the parties are married and how the child was conceived.

Although only two people can hold legal parenthood, multiple people can have parental responsibility for a child.

Our idea of what constitutes a family is constantly changing and it is important that the law keeps up with this. Although the law has progressed, there is still a long way to go. 

Whatever your individual circumstances, it is important to speak to the right people and obtain legal advice from an early stage.  We are able to provide high quality, sensitive advice and guide you through the process.

Contact us for advice
We are able to provide you with specialist legal advice and guidance according to your individual circumstances. We will listen to you, advise you and guide you through the process. To get in touch with our divorce and separation solicitors, please call us on 01843 234000 or email family@boysandmaughan.co.uk. Alternatively, you can look up all our family law specialists and choose who you would like to speak to, or fill in our simple online enquiry form on this page to request a call back.

The contents of this article are intended for general information purposes only and shall not be deemed to be, or constitute legal advice. We cannot accept responsibility for any loss as a result of acts or omissions taken in respect of this article.